“A perpetual fire shall keep burning on the altar. It shall not go out.”

Tzav Leviticus 6:1

“He built a small house, called a cocoon, around himself. He stayed inside for more than two weeks. Then he nibbled a hole in the cocoon, pushed his way out and… he was a beautiful butterfly!”

Roger closed the book that he had been reading to Lizzie, and he looked down. The reading light turned his daughter’s curls into waves of gold, and cast shadows of lace onto her cheek.

“What happened to the butterfly, daddy?”

“I don’t know. That’s the end of the story. But now that he was a butterfly, he could fly anywhere he wanted to.”

“Could he fly here?”

“If he wants to. Lizzie, the story is over for tonight. You need to close your eyes and go to sleep.”

He put his thumb on her temple and let his fingers wrap around her head. But instead of closing her eyes, she looked straight into his own eyes. Her eyebrows lowered and scrunched.

“How will I know him if I see him?”

Roger saw that Lizzie was troubled, but he did not want to get into a long discussion about butterflies. He did not want to give in to her delaying tactics. He wanted to put her to bed, leave the room, and share a glass of wine with his wife.

“Shhh. It’s time to go to sleep.”

“I don’t want to.”

“It’s time.”

“Will you leave the light on?”

“I always leave the light on.”

“You didn’t last night. Last night I woke up and it was dark.”

“When mommy and I go to bed, we look into your room to see that you’re sleeping and then we turn the light out.”

“Why?”

“Well, because we don’t want to waste electricity, and because people sleep better when it’s dark.”

“But I don’t sleep better when it’s dark. I woke up and it was dark and I was scared.” Lizzie sat up and her blanket tumbled down onto her lap. “There was a dog in my room!”

“A dog? I don’t think there was a dog in the room. And don’t you like dogs?”

“But this was a mean dog. He had sharp teeth and he was growling! Like this! Grrr grrr. And he wanted to bite me!”

Even though Roger knew that it was impossible, that no dog had entered the house, he wanted to throw himself in front of Lizzie. He imagined wrestling some growling German shepherd dog onto the floor in Lizzie’s room and pinning him down, first by the shoulder, then by the snout, as the dog tried to wriggle his head out and snap at Roger’s hand.

“Where did you see the dog, Lizzie?”

She pointed toward a corner of the room where she had a huge teddy bear that had flopped over.

“Lizzie, can I try something? I’m going to go to the door. I want to turn the lights in the room down slowly. And then as I turn them down, tell me if you see the dog, okay?”

“No!”

“Lizzie, I think I know why you see a dog. It’s just Teddy. His ear is folded over, and in the dark, it looks like a dog’s nose. And that little zipper in his pouch is open and it looks like a dog’s teeth.

“It wasn’t Teddy. It was a dog. Why did he growl?”

“Did it sound like this?” Roger made a low groaning noise. He could see Lizzie’s eyes begin to open wide. “That’s the refrigerator in the kitchen. Listen.” Roger remained silent for a few seconds. Then again, he imitated the low groan of the refrigerator, and then again, he paused. “Is that what you heard?” Lizzie nodded.

“One more chance. Can I slowly turn the lights down to show you how Teddy looks like a dog when it’s in the dark? I’ll be right here.”

“You’re scaring me. Don’t turn the lights out.”

Roger went to the corner where Teddy had flopped over. He righted him and closed the zipper in his pouch. He took care to lean him into the wall so that he would not fall over.

“Teddy won’t scare you again.”

“But it wasn’t Teddy!”

“Ok. Lizzie, why don’t you lie down again. Can I turn down the lights half-way?”

“How much?”

Roger began very gradually turning down the dimmer and watching Lizzie’s face.

“Too much!”

He turned it up a smidgen. “How is this?”

Lizzie nodded. Roger went back to the bed. “Can I put my arm around you?”

Again, she nodded and Roger put his hand so lightly on her shoulder. Then he pressed it more firmly and put his own head down on the pillow right next to her.

“Will you feel better if I promise not to turn the light out?” She nodded just like before. “Ok, then I am going to make a promise to you. You will always have light. I will stay with you until you fall asleep and then I will leave the light exactly like this until the sun comes into the room and lights it up again. And every night the light will stay like this, and it will never be dark in this room ever again.”

He pushed a curl back behind her ear.

“Do you feel safe now?”

“Yes, daddy.”

He saw her eyes flutter and then finally close, as she was comforted, knowing that he would always keep his promise.

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